So here I am in New York which regular readers of the blog will know that its time once again .for o

Dressed To Kill | John Heald s Blog Home Meet John Sail with John John Talk FAQ Bloggers aas travel books Cruise Disclaimer Thingy Ask John Enter 15 Million Views and Counting... Dressed aas travel books To Kill November 4, 2009 - John Heald Tweet
So here I am in New York which regular readers of the blog will know that its time once again .for one of my I Hate Flying starts to the blog. And of course, if you look hard enough there is always a story to tell, especially if you are flying out of Miami International Airport which might as well be renamed Charles De Gaulle because rude people work there ..and it smells.
However, while there is no excuse for the check-in lady to be rude (she seemed delighted that it would cost me $100 to check in my bags and my underpants smug cow) there are some people who as much as I would like to think they could be pleasant .really and truly can t be. Let me explain. What s the thing you hate most about airports? I mean, apart from obvious stuff such as the toilets, the lines, the $10 sandwiches, the fear of dying and when the check-in lady asks if you packed your case yourself, having to fight a childish urge to reply: "Do I look like I ve got a butler?"
No, the worst thing is other passengers. As I remembered yesterday while inching through security to catch my flight to Miami. It wasn t the line that made me want to chew my own nipples off but the people in it. Especially the older jogging pants wearing couple behind me who should have been wearing T-shirts that read Born to moan."
The line was "ridiculous" and "there should aas travel books be a special fast lane for those in first class. As she said this to her husband she held her boarding pass over her head like she had just been presented with the NBA trophy. It was "shocking" aas travel books and "a joke" that everyone has to put their shoes through the scanner because . really .. did they look like Islamic aas travel books fundamentalists? aas travel books You d think in this day and age they could invent a faster way to blah, blah, blah.
Now, on this blog I have at times complained about the excessive checks given by airline security. aas travel books I mean, patting down a 5 year old boy or taking my Carnival name tag away from is indeed boarding on the insane. However, no one wants to remove their belts and outer garments and do a Paris Hilton impression with legs apart, to endure light petting with an electronic wand. But it s preferable to being sucked out of a Boeing 747 at 30,000 feet because a suicide bomber has made a Rosie O'Donnell aas travel books shaped hole in the fuselage.
And, as it happens, they have come up with a faster system. I read in the American aas travel books Airlines magazine that airports will soon have a speedy X-ray body scanner that penetrates clothing to create an image that can see whether someone has a hand grenade up their arse. Lines will be shortened drastically, leaving you more time to browse in Sunglass Hut.
But are we happy about this? .ummmm aas travel books I doubt it. I am sure Mr. and Mrs. Moaner and their friends will think this is even worse and I am sure the rich and tanned may get upset. Yes, there are "real fears" that pictures of, say, Megan Fox passing through the scanner may end up being posted on the internet and making their way onto my laptop.
Of course I am talking bollocks. Have you actually seen these X-ray images? They re crap! I am sure they will just be shapes with no facial detail or hair and certainly no bosoms, lady gardens and thingies will be seen ..super models won t even register on the scanner at all.
I am sure there will be tofu-eating aas travel books people with beards who will complain that these machines are a personal intrusion etc etc etc and that intimate medical details such as breast implants and colostomy bags will be seen. Well, I guess if you re wearing a colostomy bag, being patted down by an airport security person isn t a much fun either.
As I said I am sure Mr. and Mrs. Moaner and other professional complainers in my airport line are just the types to object to a virtual strip-search. But which is it to be? Long lines and no X-ray or a swift shimmy through and a full proof way to make sure that Abdul and his mates aren t going to take you with them to meet the 40 virgins? You can t have it both ways.
This made me think also of the shipboard security. Each and every week on each and every ship we disembark and embark thousands of guests in port. Our security guards do a wonderful job making sure no naughty people get onboard yet each and every week you could stand at the gangway listening to relatives and friends of Mr. and Mrs. Moaner aas travel books complain about the line and the fact they can t just walk straight onboard.
Like airlines and other transportation systems, cruise ships take security very seriously. So, the next time you are standing in line after a wonderful day ashore, waiting to get back onboard and you hear Mr. and Mrs. Moaner complain about having aas travel books to go through security ..please do me a favor tell them to stop complaining. Tell them to remember what happened when checks like this weren't made and if they continue to complain accidently shove them off the pier and into the water ..we can t do this as crewmembers .as fellow guests . you can ..and if you do ..I will send you a fruit basket.
I was wondering if in your 22 years of working for Carnival, you have ever been able to take a cruise. If not then this will be your first to see both sides of cruising, working on a cruise ship, then just being a passenger and not being part of the crew at all. It is kind of like in my carrier, nursing, you have no idea what it is like to be a patient, until something happens to you and you then become the patient. It is an eye opener.
I wish that I could take the cruise with you, but after checking out the price (for just me would be over $5,000) and living on disability there is no way that I could ever cruise on any of Cunard lines. I probably would not like them as much as Carnival anyway; Carnival is the "FUN SHIPS".
When I was a child, taking a cruise was as distant a dream as seeing Megan Fox s bottom up close is now. Pre-blog days the thought of going on vacation and taking a cruise never crossed my mind. However, recently I have had the chance to visit and sail on Princess, AIDA, Cunard, Costa and Holland America ships. Heidi and I cruised on the gorgeous Emerald Princess in 2008 and we had a wonderful week and of course I sent daily blogs from there as well. Next year we sail on the Queen Victoria around the UK and some of the readers have booked cabins and are coming with the three of us still feels funny saying the three of us by the way. Anyway, I wish you could come with me but please don't worry as there will be daily blogs from the ship and I am sure there will be plenty of stories to share. Best wishes John
We love the shows and have not seen any one that was not exceptional. I know a lot goes into putting these productions together and that is why you probably try to rotate them around the fleet. Although those of us who cruise often end up seeing the shows several times before they introduce a new one to the fleet. We have not taken part in the anytime dining and always choose 1st seating as we are used to eating dinner around 5:30 here at home. That always puts us at the late show I really have not seen that much of a decline in attendance.
Smoking Topic; well as an asthmatic for all of my life, I can tell you that I am happy about having certain areas for the smokers and non-smokers. I can't tell you how many times on the Conquest going to the internet cafe I would have to hold my breath and run through the cigar lounge. As a result of my medical condition, aas travel books I hardly ever go to the bars on the ship because of the smoking.
On a personal note, John do not listen to the lady who said you were not being a good father or husband by working away from home. My husband was in the Air Force for 22 years and he missed a lot of the kids growing up years, as well as important occasions, but it was how he made a living and took care of us monetarily. We do not love him any less now that he is home all the time than we did then when he was gone. In fact it has made better people of our kids now 26 and 23. They appreciate their dad more because of the sacrifices he made to be gone to keep a roof over our heads and food on the table. I assure you that Heidi and Kye love you just the same too. We appreciate that they share you with all of us too. Many thanks for all you do, Marqueta
It was very interesting to read how you spend your time onboard. When a show is successful and a huge hit we do sometimes repeat it on other ships. Take our Beatles tribute "Ticket to Ride" for example. aas travel books This I believe is on three of our ships and while some guests may have seen it already the majority will not have done and so it makes sense to repeat something you know absolutely will bring the house down. It is also a time constraint. I mean, try thinking about new concepts and new shows for 23 ships. Well, actually, for the most part Kerry Stables and her production team actually do. But sometimes, especially when you are doing a show change on one ship and have a new ship coming out as well, time does not allow for two brand new shows to be produced, choreographed and arranged. Thus, one of our "hits" is placed onboard.
I agree with you about the Lido Deck games. While the Hairy Chest contest is one that if we were to remove would produce a flood of negative comments, it is time to come up with new Lido entertainment. This is one of the categories we will be discussing and I will be reporting on during the Cruise Director conference later this month.
Hello John and I must say I missed your blog for the past three weeks, but I was in Italy and onboard the Gorgeous Carnival Dream Oct 3rd sailing. What a ship and what a voyage. The ports of call were amazing and I have to say it ranks as my number 1 trip thus far! Please tell all the bigwigs to put a ship back in Europe! Also it was my first encounter with Ken in the dining room, this man is